I have a friend called Lottie. I know for a fact she's the only person who's EVER read this pathetic excuse for a blog, and she wants me to write a post for her; she did one for me but I can't read it because her blog is private. Back in my day we called them diaries.
I reckon Lottie and me should deffo be seeing more of each other. We both have several things in common, such as living in the middle of nowhere, being into winter sports and having a penis. But for convoluted reasons Lottie's not great at being able to come out places, so we chatter away on Facebook. She's quite a self-assured girl and very talented what with her plays and guitars and stuff. I admire her attitude. We talk about personal stuff usually, and I'm very much glad to have the ability to penetrate long and deep into the soft folds of her brain.
She thinks I'm a complete pervert. Comments such as the one above seem to come very naturally into my brain - there's something about Lottie that brings out my sleazebag side. Lottie is cool because she is very self-assured and likes good music, massive, dangerous boots like oil tankers, and snowboarding, but avoids looking like an unkempt monster from the pits of hell like most girls with good taste.
"Little" Lottie, as she is known, is contrasted with "big" Lottie, a mutual friend of ours. The two Lotties are fast friends, or BFF's, as I'm led to believe the kids call them. Anecdotal evidence suggests that the names are based on relative boob sizes, but it's not really a fair comparison as big Lottie's are a bit like this.
Lottie is very much likely after reading this to put on a pair of finest Doc Martens and come to Southampton to beat me up. I should be honoured.
